


My whole heart for my whole life

by kirschteinkyojin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, Hunting, Jearmin Week, M/M, Swearing, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:36:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1974411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschteinkyojin/pseuds/kirschteinkyojin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean looked on in complete and utter adoration at the radiant young man walking towards him. The light from the candles reflected onto his beautiful golden hair making it shimmer full of life in the ever-growing darkness of the evening. ‘He’s perfect’ Jean thought to himself ‘I’m so lucky to be with him’.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My whole heart for my whole life

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution to Jearmin week, day 5: wedding

Armin had never been to a wedding before. Partly because he’d never been invited to one and defiantly because he wasn’t very fond of them. The whole concept seemed rather ridiculous to him, why would two people need a ceremony to display their love to one another? Why was it anyone else’s business? Being part of the Survey Corps made the matter seem even stranger to him.  How could anyone have time for something as tedious as a wedding when the fate of humanity was at stake and the person you were marrying could slip right through your fingers the next day.

Jean on the other hand was rather partial to weddings. He too had never been to one himself but the concept intrigued him all the same. To Jean, still a member of the Survey Corps just like Armin, thought exactly because the fate of humanity was at stake and the person you were marrying could slip right through your fingers the next day was the perfect reason to have a wedding. A very large one at that. Although he bottled the whole idea to the back of his mind until it was so small that he himself probably wouldn’t even remember he liked the idea of a wedding in the first place. Then piled on top of that the fear of destruction to the walls around them and the death of everyone the young man knew and loved made the idea of becoming married himself almost non existent.

 

So with all that in mind, it seemed a rather peculiar that the first wedding the two boys would attend would in fact be one where they were both the grooms. They had never thought about the idea themselves, they assumed that they would just carry on living simply admiring one another’s company for the remainder of their days without the need for any fancy titles. Only when Sasha had asked them directly over their steaming bowls of leak and potato soup and half-ass loafs of bread during supper in the Scouting Legion mess hall did the idea become somewhat of a reality. It was the beginning of September and Sasha and the two men were the only ones left in dining room; although this wasn’t an unusual thing for Squad Leaders to do, after a long day of training new recruits most did prefer a night of peace. That evening had been a particularly cold one, only made cooler because of the three friends nerves filling the arenaceous air. Eren, Mikasa and Connie had been absent in titan territory since mid afternoon the moon before last. It was a simple mission which only took the three of them to accomplish. It involved exiting the partial safely which Wall Rose provide into what was once Wall Maria to collect some rare herbs which only grew in a certain area inside Wall Maria. Before the Colossal and Armoured titans destroyed the walls this particular area was well known as one of humanities largest reaping areas  for medicinal herbs. One which was very often used by Dr’ Jeagar before his untimely disappearance. This made it the perfect mission for Eren and Mikasa who knew exactly where this nourished land was located. Pretty much the whole regiment was against short missions such as this. It was a real time wasting and dangerous task not only for the soldiers leaving the walls but also for those living by the gates. The task involved preparing a back up squad to eliminate any titans close to the gate to provide for a safe opening and exit, a life-threatening task in it’s own right. However these herbs were important, herbs that so happened to be for a very important and very ill lord within the interior. Someone who would pay the Scouts a lot of money to keep themselves alive; money that the Survey Corps desperately needed.

 

Jean proceeded to knock his knees together repeatedly and look directly at one of the many burning candles hung from sconce around the room while Armin impatiently tapped his left index finger against the aged oak dining table. Sasha on the other hand hated sitting in silence in moments like this because she believed that sitting quietly would do nothing for keeping ones mind off the thought of loved ones being in a dangerous situation. She broke the silence after Jean who noticed Armin shivering slightly, proceeded to wrap his larger jacket around his long-term boyfriends slender shoulders which Armin smiled gratefully for in return.

“So,” She began loudly which made the two men lift their heads to face her. “When are you two going to get married?”

“Married? That’s ridic…” Jean began abruptly before he was cut off by the heavy chiming of bells ringing from the east courtyard.

“They’re back!” Armin blurted and stood up hastily, pushing the table back Sasha’s direction a few inches before he sprinted out door still with Jean’s jacket draping his shoulders as if he was never part of the conversation to begin with. Sasha followed quickly after with a look of uneasiness on her face preparing herself for what might lay ahead outside of these grand castle doors.

 

***

 

It wasn’t until he retired that night, more at peace than he was a few hours prior that Jean really had time to reflect on what Sasha had said. Eren, Mikasa and Connie had made it back safely without any bad injuries and successfully obtained the herbs for which the Commander was extremely grateful. Armin slept soundly on Jean’s bare chest, his arm flung across his partner’s stomach and nuzzling into his warm skin. Jean laid back down against his pillow and let a hand roam through Armin’s soft golden hair. It was longer than what it was when they were younger, now lengthy enough that it just passed the petite young man’s shoulders and needed to be tied up during the day. Armin had been close to cutting it out of fear it would become a hindrance when using 3DMG but Jean insisted that he kept it claiming that it was ‘too beautiful to butcher off’ which made Armin blush a deep shade of crimson and also scored Jean a nice long make out session in his office, long enough that the pair nearly ended up demoted to stable hands for being late to one of Lance Corporal Levi’s ‘important’ meetings.

The soft snores escaping the blue-eyes boys lips made Jean smile contently. He was happy for Armin that he was able to achieve a blissful sleep, a rarity to come by since probably the moment they were born. Jean continued to softly gaze down at his resting lover; he was going to say that the idea of getting married would be ridiculous earlier in the mess hall. But was it really? He loved Armin, by god with all this heart he did. He wanted to be with him for the rest of his life and to spend every night holding him securely in his arms like he was right then. However he knew Armin wouldn’t be bothered about such a formal event when they already knew they loved one another. Jean glanced down at Armin’s small and pale left hand and looked at the naked ring finger. He then proceeded to lift his own hand from the sleeping boys hair and inspect his too. Would it really be that bad if they did ‘make it official’? Jean wouldn’t mind, he thought inquisitively about the matter to himself whilst continuing holding his left arm in the air. How would Armin react if he asked him anyway? Would be annoyed that Jean didn’t think how they were now was enough? Would he reject him all together?

“Oh for fuck sake!” Jean whined and brought his arm down with a swift and heavy thud. ’Oh shit!’ the boy thought to himself completely forgetting about his sleeping boyfriend below him.

“Urghh…” Armin began to stir in a rather annoyed fashion.

“Sorry babe, I didn’t mean to. Just go back to sleep it’s fine.” Jean whispered into his lovers hair as he softly kissed the blonds head.

“W-what are you doing up? It’s the middle of the night.” Armin questioned, sitting up slightly to get a view of the larger boys face.

“I was just- err…” Jean blushed lightly and tried to hastily come of with and excuse good enough that wouldn’t make him look like a complete asshat. Armin frowned up at his boyfriend and waited impatiently for a response. The boy felt he ought to know what was so important that it kept Jean awake at goodness knows what in the morning at why it was so thought provoking that it had momentarily made his boyfriend forget there was another person in the bed and proposed to back-hand him awake.

“How would you feel… about the- the prospect I mean…” Jean paused, god he sounded like a blubbering idiot ‘just tell him, tell him anything!’ Jean scolded himself.

“The prospect of what?”

“OfbeingahusbandImean.” The brunet flooded out in a fashion that was probably inaudible to most.

Armin took a moment to register the information. It wasn’t like Jean had exactly made it easy for him to understand.

“Well I suppose it depends on who’s husband I was being. Also I would have to take into account what situation this would be in. I mean am I still dating you? If so that would make it kind of immoral to marry someone else. Also what sort of situation am I in? What it my job? Where am I living? What are my finances li-“ Abruptly Jean flipped Armin over from his side to his back and climbed on top of him, one hand at either side of Armin’s head.

“I love it when you talk logically to me.” Jean whispered husky as he brought his face down to Armin’s and swiftly attached his lips to his own. Armin returned it naturally and brought one hand to the back of Jean’s head and pulled his face even closer. The kiss lasted a couple of moment before Jean pulled away and placed one quick peck on Armin’s forehead before looking directly into his eyes.

“You doofus, being _my_ husband I mean.”

Armin’s mouth slowly formed an ‘o’ shape and he let out a slight shaking breath. Jean, realising the full extent of what he’d said made his lungs feel like they were being squeezed tightly. His ears burned and to be frank, he felt like he was about to piss himself.

“Okay.” Armin whispered, not blinking, not loosing Jean’s gaze for a millisecond and just as that simple word tumbled out of his lips as cliché as it sounds time felt like it literally froze in their stupid, messy room and not even the fucking titans could break this timeless moment.

“Okay?”

“Okay, I will marry you. If that’s what you were trying to ask me.” Armin almost giggled at how embarrassed and confused his boyfriend looked above him. “Come here you.” Armin laughed as he wrapped both his arms around Jean’s back, pulled him down and rolled so he was sat on his lovers hips leaning his face close enough that he could feel Jean’s rapid breathing on his face.

“But I thought you hated weddings? You said you didn’t think they were worth the time living in the world we do.”

“Yeah, I did but- I love you.” Armin said sincerely, rubbing Jean’s arms and giving a small smile which was such a tiny thing to do but as it always did made Jean’s heart skip a beat or towo and gave him the jubilant feeling at Armin was the most precious thing in the entire world to him and more to him than his own like a million times over.

“I love you and I want you.” That sounded more sexual than Armin had originally planned but it worked all the same because it was the utmost of truths. “I know this world is unpredictable. Anything could happen to one of us today or tomorrow or the day after that but I still want you and as idiotic as it sounds. I want to grow old with you and I want us to be able to live a happy and peaceful life and have a family and spend every night together just like this. I’ll scream it to the heavens if need be I’d have everyone from inside the walls to the furthest the world out there reaches if that meant I got to be with you! I never thought I’d love anyone as much as I love you so I didn’t think I would feel this _need_ to have anyone but I do. So I want to marry you.” Armin’s voice cracked just as he finished, his eyes became clouded by tears and a single one ran down his cheek and it wasn’t until then that he noticed Jean had a few tears on his own.

 

“Oh my god you are so perfect.” Jean almost squeaked and pulled himself up in a quick movement in order to connect his lover’s body to his own in a large and intimate embrace. The brunette buried his face into the crook where Armin’s neck met his shoulder and he felt the other do the same. The two both laughed blissfully into each others skin with the widest smiles on their faces before pulling apart to look at each other again. “I really do love you.” Jean whispered and collected Armin’s face into his hands, rubbing his cheeks tenderly with his thumbs.

“Same here you big dummy.” Armin mumbled as he rubbed his nose playfully against Jean’s before stealing a soft and quick kiss which then turned into a few more kisses; each becoming more deep and more intimate before Jean spent the remainder of their time awake pleasing Armin and making him feel like the angel Jean saw him as.

 

*** 

 

It was late October when it happened. The crisp amber leaves still clung to the branches of trees, soon ready to fall for the winter ahead. The air was cool and rather blustery but the sky was clear letting the almost full moon glimmer down creating an exquisite shimmering pattern across the large lake. Wild plant life grew around it, plants strong enough that they were lasting well past the spring and bring creatures both large and small to use them for sustenance. The wedding was located in the South hillsides of Wall Rose, just outside of a small farming village which sympathised greatly with the Scouting Legion cause and were more than happy to accommodate for such a splendid event. They even helped by decorating and catering with the scouts by roasting succulent joints of meat and ripe vegetables. The centre piece of the feast though was quite unique, a large piece of venison from a deer Sasha had hunted down especially for the occasion. Deer was seen as a symbol of luck and longevity by many inside the walls which were two things the Scouting Legion prayed for daily. It was decided long before the big day that any food not distributed to the hundreds of Survey Corps attendees that whatever was left would be sent directly to one of the many orphanages within the outer walls, a cause which was very dear to Armin’s heart.

The autumn foliage was put to good use by creating a canopy above where the two grooms were to stand made from branches, entangled vines and the crisp yellow, orange and brown leaves the wilderness had produced. Candles trailed down a long and winding aisle from the cottage where the grooms were getting dressed right down to the awning. Guests chairs were covered in warm sheep fur and as expected placed with military precision on either side of the aisle with special reservations at the front for closest friends, higher ups and Jean’s mother.  

After the ceremony there was to be a rapid movement of furniture to create tables for all the guests. Under the canopy was to be the top table for the grooms and immediate family. In their case Jean’s mother along with Eren, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha and Historia. In front of the table would be a cleared area for dancing, turns out some of the members of the Scouting Legion are hand with instruments and able to create anything from a beautiful slow melody to an upbeat folk song to get everyone dancing together.

 

It was around 6pm and final preparations were taking place, the sun was already setting and so the candles were lit creating a fairy-like trail similar to something in a story a parent would read to their child before bed. As tradition, Jean and Armin hadn’t seen each other all day, which made both the young men all the more nervous even if they were only a few rooms apart from one another. The three girls: Mikasa, Sasha and Historia were put in charge of Armin’s preparations and also the bridesmaids of the evening. What Armin was wearing was pretty simple in hindsight; a pair or pressed nutmeg brown trousers and a cream dress shirt with an open collar. Armin had already said that that was enough but both Sasha and Historia had insisted on doing something special with Armin’s hair. The two girls tied his hair half up and platted the bits that were so. Then they set to work on dotting single flowers of all deferent breeds into his hair giggling happily has they did so.

“You look like a woodland prince Armin!” Sasha spurted excitedly.

 “I can’t wait to see Jean’s face when he sees you!” Historia added with the same enthusiasm.

Armin just nodded slightly and looked at his trembling hands on his lap. Casting him away from his nervous thoughts were a pair of warm hands wrapping around his own.

“Armin are you okay?” Mikasa asked quietly, bending down to the same level as the sitting young man and giving him a comforting smile. She looked radiant, all three of the women did in their matching strapless cream lace dresses with a delicate and inquisitive pattern running all the way around them. They were short, only reached up to their knees and bunched out after the hem where the waist ended with a ribbon running around it a tying at the back.

“Yeah I’m fine. Just a little nervous.” Armin breathed shakily but he was still smiling.

“Don’t worry he isn’t that bad.” Eren joked strutting through the door in black trousers and a white dress shirt.

“How’s Jean?” Armin asked, standing now Sasha and Historia had finished their masterpiece.

“He’s okay, panicking a little that he’ll screw up.” Eren commented plonking himself on another hair in the small room. After a few moments a loud knock was heard at the door.

“Jean’s walking down now, time for you to get moving!” Connie yelled from the other side of the wall.

 

 ***

 

“Jeanbo you’re shaking.” Mrs Kirschtien whispered into her son’s ear as they slowly made their way down the long and winding aisle, their feet crunching against the grass with every step they took. Jean wore similar to Armin in that it was a pair of brown trousers except instead of nutmeg his were more of a Franciscan colour and instead of cream he wore a white shirt with the top button undone.

“Am not!” Jean recoiled with a deep red face. His mother simply frowned at him in response. “Okay maybe I am…” The proud mother smiled warmly and tightened her grip around her beloved son’s arm.

“I’m really proud of you my boy.” She muttered, her voice breaking slightly.

“You’re not crying are you?” Jean questioned turning his head to look at her sparkling hazel eyes.

“My son is getting married, I’m allowed to cry aren’t I?”

“I just don’t like seeing you upset that’s all.”

“I’m crying because I’m happy Jeanbo, not because I’m sad.” Mrs Kirschtien giggled lightly.

“That’s okay then. Oh and mum, thank you.” Jean whispered sincerely his voice shaking only slightly. When they made it to the front the mother and son gave each other a tight hug. A hug that told a thousand words. All the ‘I love you’s they have even said or wanted to say and a hug that would tell his mother ‘thank you for being my rock for all these years’. When they separated Mrs Kirschtein took her space on the front row next to Hanji who, along with Captain Levi and Commander Erwin were dressed in different military attire than all the other Survey Corps members present. Instead of their standard military jackets instead the three highest officers wore a smarter jacket of the same colour which fastened around their left sides and had on it their medals and an aiguillette.

A couple of minuets after Mikasa, Sasha and Historia made it down the aisle, each holding a small bouquet of dahlias in their hands. Connie snuck into his place to be the ring bearer and gave Jean a reassuring thumbs-up.

After what seemed like hours of nervous waiting of Jean’s behalf which in truth was probably closer to three minuets after the bridesmaids had taken their places did he catch a first glimpse of Armin making his way down the fairy trail with his arm wrapped around Eren.

 

“Thank you for being the one to give me away Eren.” Armin says through a bright smile but continues to watch where he’s walking, praying that he doesn’t fall over or do something even more embarrassing. “It really means a lot.”

“You’re welcome.”

“No really,” Armin insisted, turning his head slightly to catch the others view whilst carrying on walking. “You and Mikasa have been there for me almost as long as I can remember and after my grandpa died- you were the only family I had.”

Eren’s breath caught in his throat slightly and smiled warmly.

“We’ll always be family, you’re my brother Armin. Our family is just going to get a little bigger now that’s all.”

“Ha, are you going to call Jean your brother then too?”

“I might not stretch that far.”

“Aw come on!”

“I’m kidding I’m kidding! Listen, I wouldn’t want you to marry any one else but that big dork up there, I’m happy to call him a friend and soon enough part of my family. Even though all of us kind of are already.”

“I’ll tell him you said that.”

 

Jean looked on in complete and utter adoration at the radiant man walking towards him. The light from the candles reflected onto his beautiful golden hair making it shimmer full of life in the ever-growing darkness of the evening. ‘He’s perfect’ Jean thought to himself ‘I’m so lucky to be with him’. Armin lifted his large sapphire eyes up to _finally_ connect to Jean’s and it made his heart physically ache with this deep and steaming hot fiery passion that Jean had inside him, coursing all through his veins. The smaller boy smiled brightly and Jean returned it with the same eagerness.

When Armin finally made it to the canopy he and Eren shared a warm embrace before the brunette left to stand along side Mikasa. Armin looked so perfect that Jean could have kissed him right there, he wanted to hold him close and never let him go and freeze themselves in that moment forever.

“H-hi.” Armin whispered moving closer to Jean just so their arms ever so lightly brushed together.

“Hey.” Jean returned looking down at his lover next to him. “You look beautiful.”

“Don’t say such things you idiot!” Armin blushed heavily just like a love-struck teenager.

“Sorry, but it’s true.”

“We are here tonight to whiteness the bonding between Jean Kirschtein and Armin Arlert.“ The Registrar began tuning the two young men to turn to face him and the guests to sit down.

“May these two men be blessed with a long and happy life together. May they find peace with one another and be committed with their affection and may they treasure one another everyday after this milestone in their lives. May we have the rings and the blankets.”

From behind them both Eren and Jean’s mother came carrying a two cream lace blankets with a golden floral pattern running around them. The two of them gently wrapped the blankets around each of the young men’s’ shoulders and returned to their seats. Secondly, Connie stepped up to the front beside the pair.

“Oh shit…” He whispered to himself as he began rummaging hastily inside his trouser pockets.

“Dude!” Jean gasped in anguish, this was not going to happen!

“Ahaha got you!” Connie chirped and pulled the two rings from his pocket and passed one to each of the grooms.

“You jerk.” Jean hissed although he still grinned and Armin laughed. Once Connie had returned to his seat the Registrar continued.

“If the grooms would like to face each other, place the rings on their partner’s finger and repeat what I say to each other together. I promise,”

“I promise”

“to care and nurture you”

“to take care and nurture you”

“to be faithful and unselfish”

“to be faithful and unselfish”

“whether you be ill or poor”

“whether you be ill or poor”

 “healthy or wealthy”

“healthy or wealthy”

“and until the day I do die”

“and until the day I do die”

“promise treat you as my equal and love you with all my might.”

“promise treat you as my equal and love you with all my might.”

 

“I am happy to announce that these two men be joined as one in the presence of all of these witnesses and I invite you to wish them all the good health and happiness the world has to offer. You may now kiss your husband.”

 “Husband.” Armin whispered barely able to contain his excitement.

“Husband.” Jean returned.

At that moment, no matter how speculative it sounded the two of them just didn’t care about all the shit out side of them walls right now. Tomorrow they thought, tomorrow they could go back to their dangerous lives and worry about all the death and destruction and how they could loose one another if something were to happen. Tomorrow they could continue their fight to break free of their cages and see the outside world together.

But tonight was theirs.

And nothing, nothing in their completely and utterly fucked up world was going to spoil this moment for them right now. Their friends and family were there and they _loved each other_ more than anything else in the world so simply; nothing else mattered.

Jean took Armin’s face in his hands and Armin grabbed a hold of Jean’s arms. Slowly Jean brought his new husbands face to his. Their eyes fluttered closed and their lips touched.


End file.
